A Collection of Scattered Poems

birds


Birds

BIRDS

If you decide to read this poem
You'll guess as soon as you've begun
I had been outdoors too long
And been affected by the sun

My brain was really fuzzy
From the heat and sun combined
Yet my family will insist
That it's my usual state of mind

Being deep in contemplation
Of important worldly things
I fell victim to the heat
And the illusions heat stroke brings

The day was really sweltering
I was mowing our back lawn
I stopped to wipe my sweating brow
And tiredly gave a yawn

There was this cheeky little black bird
Perched high up in our tree
And I'm sure I heard him singing
"No damn lawn mowing for me!"

It seemed to me that he was boasting
And in making such a fuss
He was sarcastically informing me
That they're superior to us

While I sweltered in the sun
He was sitting in the shade
Compared to mine, his life is easy
I'm convinced he wouldn't trade

I wouldn't be a duck or pheasant
Because their prospects aren't too hot
And when the hunting season opened
I'd be the first damn bird they shot

But his singing seemed to taunt me
As he sat high in his tree
And with the song that he was singing
He conveyed these thoughts to me

I hastily grabbed my note book
And wrote down his every word
Only one who suffered sunstroke
Would take dictation from a bird

That bird made a rude suggestion
From the branch on which he sat
He said he'd find our yard more pleasant
If we dumped the dog and cat

My old dog gave an angry growl
And I could easily tell
He had told that bird quite frankly
That he could go to hell

I should have known my verse was stupid
I was in a mental fog
It's the first verse that I've written
Without the help of my old dog

My dog saw what I was writing
And decided not to stay
He gave a sad look of embarrassment
Then got up and walked away

That bird sang of an advantage
That bachelors like best
He can find a new bird every year
To 'feather' his new nest

If he wants to stretch his legs a bit
Long grass makes walking hard
So he flaps his wings and pretty soon
He's found a neater yard

When he decides to build a new home
He just wings around the town
He steals everything he wants
And the law won't hunt him down

If his wife walks out and leaves him
He thinks it's quite okay
Because birds are independent
There's no maintenance to pay

The financial crisis didn't harm him
He had a lesson we should heed
Birds never get in debt
Because they don't have human greed

He continued to torment me
From that tall tree in our yard
He said he never carried money
And didn't need a credit card

He even quoted Thoreau's wisdom
And said they're words we should live by
We could make our life more pleasant
If we'd just 'simplify'.

I found his attitude insulting
And I thought it quite absurd
That I should have to be belittled
By a pompous little bird

He was acting so superior
He thought himself astute
If I could have found a rock
I would have stoned the cheeky brute

But he did have one advantage
And it's one that I would seek
Each time I get a toothache
I'd prefer to have a beak

Mother nature should have thought of it
It's a gift she should bequeath
Because beaks do stuff the same as mouths
And they never need false teeth

As I gazed up at that black bird
His beak looked real darn neat
We could do away with dentists
And make the buggers obsolete

Romance could be quite tricky
Those beaks have points by heck
And a girl would not forgive a man
Who stabbed her in the neck

The world's problems don't depress them
They don't watch the evening news
And they never suffer blistered heels
From breaking in new shoes

They do not fall prey to fashion
Fashion is a human sin
The birds laugh at all our fashions
Their feathered style is always 'in'.

He doesn't queue at busy check-outs
And face a sales clerk's flustered mood
Everything he eats is cost-free
He doesn't pay one cent for food

They build their nests in great locations
Where they get the greatest views
And they don't pay rates or taxes
Or even union dues

Nature tells birds all they need to know
They don't seek extra knowledge
So the parents don't go bankrupt
Trying to put their kids through college

If they don't like their neighbour
The problem's easily solved
They fly to a new location
And there's no 'moving costs' involved

They have no traffic problems
They have uninterrupted flights
They don't have to pause at 'stop' signs
Or inconvenient traffic lights

Transport costs are non existent
They have a gift you can't surpass
They can have a free vacation
Happily flying tourist class

They have no need for aeroplanes
Or a taxi, train or bus
They just wing around the country
Without the slightest fuss

Nature's showed them favouritism
By giving them these things
We have to wait to get to heaven
Before we get our wings

They never grow untidy beards
So they don't have to shave
And they don't have to fill the car up
Think of all the cash they save

Their life is free and easy
They never have to work
That damn bird was sneering at me
He made me feel a thorough jerk

But, to be a chicken or a turkey
Is a thought I couldn't bear
I don't want to end up on a table
With my legs stuck in the air

K.D. Abbott © 2009


NOTE:
You are invited to make copies of any poem on this site
for your personal and private use providing the details of
copyright are included.
The poems are not to be used for commercial purposes or
displayed on any website.


Back to Top of Page Menu


All poems and short stories on this site are protected and
Copyrighted to K. D Abbott 2009. © All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2024 Just Verse. K. D. Abbott.
All rights reserved on poems and short stories.

Just Verse      K9 Watch
Visit KDA Cross Stitch